Avoid The Validation Vortex
The Only Validation That Matters Is Your Own
Welcome to the paid edition of YouTopian Journey, a Substack featured publication. Each week I will be sharing unique wisdom that can help you in the daily battles that we must all fight in the game of life. This week we discuss why you must avoid the validation vortex.
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Now onto the good stuff.
VALIDATION AT ANY COST
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”-Marcus Aurelius.
We live in an age where everything we do is broadcast to the masses. It is the type of reach that our predecessors could never imagine. What once was knowledge only to the tribe, the family, the neighborhood, is now able to reach millions of people. Our technology and devices give us a podium to shout our hopes, fears, thoughts, and opinions to anyone who is interested (or foolish enough) to listen.
Social media feeds are empty and blank, awaiting content. They demand to be fed.
The masses comply.
Nothing is off the table so long as it doesn’t violate the terms of service.
Now everyone we know, and the countless we don’t, can have access to our content. Our dancing, our thoughts, our “research”, our food, our experiences, is all there for consumption.
And society is hungry.
Followers gobble up everything and anything. If you have it, post it. If you got it, flaunt it. Even if you don’t, act like you do. No one is going to come around and second guess if you are that talented, that wealthy, that beautiful, or that happy.
This ability to create and produce content has come at a cost, a price that we are all willing to pay without regard to the consequences.
The need to be validated.
Validation at any cost for every little thing that we do.
We must see the fruits of our labor. We must have comments. We need hearts and shares, likes, and retweets. We need livestreams and high scores. We don’t want drama but if there is any, we will be there to answer the call and put that person in their place.
We MUST be validated. We must be loved. We must have that reinforcement from everyone that makes us think what we’re doing is worthwhile. We need that pat on the back, that like, that comment, and that share.
We have become victims of the validation vortex, one that is constantly spiraling and ever-present.
The pull is powerful.
Too powerful for many to resist.
This endless and swirling vortex of validation has become second nature to us. No longer can we work on something meaningful to us. If it isn’t fitting with the audience, the crowd, the following, then we should find something else to focus on. We should find something that will bring us celebrity status, along with all the trappings of that status.
Rather than working on something meaningful and fulfilling, we spend the majority of our time faking a life of private jets, wealth, power, and success. It would be much more useful and intelligent to dedicate ourselves to a difficult task that could possibly result in the life of luxury and success that we seek. Yet if this is the case, why aren’t we doing precisely that?
Because it is hard.
It is painful.
It is stressful.
The results aren’t immediate.
And it certainly isn’t fun.
Posting a sunset picture with an inspiring quote and relevant hashtags is good content. Posting a selfie of you at your desk, overworked, underpaid, exhausted and unhappy…well no one wants that, especially you.
Understand that the type of success that most desire is often the result of years of hard work, setbacks, losses, suffering, and constant doubt. It is the result of failed partnerships, failed plans, lost funds and even more damaging, lost time. The average person does not want this suffering. They do not want to stay up late, toiling away at tasks that are tedious and boring. Yet it is by completing this journey that they can achieve the success that they desire.
This type of life isn’t celebrated online and it certainly isn’t validated. No one is smiling after an eighteen hour day of work. No one is looking off into the distance after looking at their negative bank statement, wondering how their startup will be paid for this month. And I can promise you that no one is traveling the world when they can barely afford bus fare.