Don’t Let Them Stop You
Because They Can and Will if You Let Them
Welcome to the YouTopian Journey. Each week I will be sharing unique wisdom that can help you in the daily battles that we must all fight in the game of life. This week we discuss why you must not let them stop you!
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Now onto the good stuff.
WHO ARE THEY?
“Whatever it be, whether art or nature, that has inscribed in us this condition of living by reference to others, it does us much more harm than good. We defraud ourselves out of what is actually useful to us in order to make appearances conform to common opinion. We care less about the real truth of our inner selves than about how we are known to the public.”-Montaigne, On Vanity
They are everywhere.
The critics
The self-appointed and self-anointed experts.
The herd of epic proportions, with negativity and opinions to match.
But who are these people? Who are the people that will stand in your way as you seek to forge your own path?
Simple.
They are your peers. Your friends. Your family. Your teachers. Your leaders.
It is your best friend for the past decade who knows you better than anyone and who is convinced that this is nothing more than a phase.
It is your significant other, who thinks you work too much already and that another project, no matter how meaningful, is just a waste of time.
It is your parents, who want the best for you and don’t want to see you get hurt, despite the possible rewards that await.
It is your coworkers who believe that you shouldn’t spoil what you have by desiring more.
It is everyone who doesn’t want to lose so they won’t risk winning, no matter what is at stake.
Sometimes the hardest obstacles to overcome are not the opinions of strangers, but the opinions of those we hold dear and spend the majority of our lives with. Their words are like ice in your veins. Their opinions cut deep into your mind, where the wounds can be fatal to one who seeks to dream.
This isn’t easy to accept but it is the truth. As you begin to focus on your task, yourself, and your future, you will find the path is lonely and difficult. These difficulties will only continue to mount. Goaded on by the people that surround you, your mind will fill with questions.
Am I ready?
Do I have this in me?
Should I have went to a different school? Chosen a different major?
What am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
What if I fail?
And of course, the question that is the most daunting….
What will they think of me?
Oh yes, the opinion of the crowd is the one that stops the most stalwart sailor in their tracks. The crowd sourced opinion is enough to prevent the individual from looking out toward the sea of dreams and instead, focus their gaze on their feet. Yes, the safety of the shore is welcoming, but at what cost?
“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”-André Gide
But do not despair. There is a way to avoid this pain. In fact, I can guarantee you a foolproof plan to feel no pain or discomfort at all.
Say nothing. Do nothing. Be nothing.
In fact, you should pull the covers over your head and silence all dreams and hopes that you know to be legitimate. Sadly, most do. Most people find it far too difficult to go against their peers. It is much more comfortable to stay put.
Do not be one of them.
You have something pulling you past the naysayers and above the negativity. This is powerful beyond measure, but people only realize this power if they push past the questions that plague their minds.
Because once you begin, things begin to change. At first, you don’t see it. You are too focused at the task at hand. You don’t realize that you are staying up later without the lack of energy that has accompanied late nights in the past. You don’t realize the impossibility of what you are doing because you are too busy making it possible. You don’t realize the crowd anymore because they were never there to begin with. They said their piece and then moved onto something else and someone else.
Now there is just you and your work.
Make it last.
Make it great.
Make them remember you, because once you have succeeded, they will have said they were a supporter from the start.
But you will know the truth. You will remember who was with you and who wasn’t.
And it won’t matter.
Because you will have succeeded and shown each and every one of them just what was possible.
“Make voyages! Attempt them. There’s nothing else.” -Tennessee Williams
THE NEED TO BE RIGHT OVER ALL.
“You have to let other people be right...it consoles them for not being anything else.”-André Gide
We have many needs. Food, shelter, health. But the one need that seems to matter most to the multitude is the need to be right. Many cannot stand anything else. There must be a vindicating moment for them, a time when they can appear out of the darkness and utter their favorite words, “I told you so.”
I told you it wouldn’t work.
I told you it was a stupid idea.
I told you it was a waste of time and money.
I told you it wasn’t for you.
I can promise you that they won’t be there for the entirety of the journey, but they will be there for the moments of hesitation, doubt, and especially, defeat.
Why is this the case?
Because so many live empty lives. They aren’t expert in any fields, that would have required too much time and effort. They never had the courage to go after a goal that was difficult so they remained standing still, watching, laughing, and criticizing others.
It is far easier to critique than to act. Acting is painful and uncomfortable. Like life, action promises nothing and keeps its promise. So, the multitude rather stay still. They rather watch, point, and comment than take part in their own difficult journey.
They must have that moment of vindication. They must prove that point. Sadly, it is the only thing that they are capable of doing.
The best way to handle them?
Ignore them.
Leave this crowd behind in the wake of your work. What you are doing is not for them, but for you. What you are working on is far more important and powerful than the opinions of small minded people who know nothing better and having nothing to offer you.
You must focus on yourself. Your task at hand. Focus on the horizon and the stars. Focus on everything and anything that brings you one step closer to your goals. Anything that diminishes you, that gives you cause for concern, that makes you hesitant, isn’t worth your time.
“Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor.”-Friedrich Schiller
MISTAKES, SETBACKS, AND DEFEAT AWAIT. GO FORWARD REGARDLESS.
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.”-Niels Bohr
If you think that the journey will be easy, you are mistaken. What you set out to do will be difficult. It may seem downright impossible. Nevertheless, one should not be stopped from doing it.
Yet so many are waiting, just waiting, in the wings with their opinions. They will appear at your time of need but will not offer a helping hand. Instead, they will offer their criticisms and counsel, which is anything but wise.
You will be tempted to listen. You may even want to agree. When facing the inevitable mistakes, setbacks, and defeats, you will be mentally weakened and fatigued. But you must persist.
You must remain resilient in the face of the difficulties. You must be stubborn in your pursuit of your goals. You must silence the critics through your movement, action, and results.
“You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made. But I just kept pushing.”-René Descartes
You must keep pushing and not give in. The truly successful among us all have one trait in common. They kept going no matter the circumstances or what stood in their way. Their persistence overcame the resistance.
You must keep going.
You must ignore the constant chatter and opinions. You must follow your inner compass that points to true north. This is difficult, but it must be done.
You must do it!
That is what society needs, not drones who mindlessly follow whatever fad is trending or whatever influencer is speaking, but the individual who follows their inner compass. The one who sees abundance and satiety where others see only muck and mire.
“I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life.”-Virginia Woolf
Ultimately, this is up to you and you alone. The true measure of a person is not their attitude and actions when a person is successful, but when they are facing the indomitable impossibilities that lie before them. It is easy to hop on the bandwagon when things are going well and the sun is shining, but what about when one is in the middle of the worst storm imaginable?
What will you do when you face such a storm of difficulties? Go for the lifeboat that the critics offer? Or continue to move forward, despite the obstacles?
You know what to do.
Keep moving forward no matter what.
The storm will clear.
The crowd will disperse.
And you will have been changed for the better.
Trust me.
"We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started."-Henry Ward Beecher
A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
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ONE LAST THING
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I’m Shaun Gold and if you are reading this, you are already on your journey. Catch you next week.
Very encouraging piece, thank you! “It is far easier to critique than to act” really stuck out to me. Definitely a good reminder to keep going and ignore the critics that are in the be nothing stage.
Awesome. I loved all the quotes peppered throughout. I needed this today. Thank you!